She struggled to learn how to read and write, due to an undiagnosed learning disorder.
Her third grade teacher frequently mocked and taunted her, often calling Kay dummy. As a result, Kay didn’t do well in school and believed she was stupid. She’d always dreamed of helping people as a nurse but she never made it pass tenth grade. Instead, she worked at a local diner as a waitress. But Annette, the owner of the restaurant, believed in Kay. She encouraged the younger woman to study for GED so she could go to college. Annette said, “You have a fixed mindset and that’s holding you back from what you really want.” This post originally appeared in Quora >> Read more here!
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Rejection and hurt can leave us feeling unfulfilled and disillusioned with how we expect relationships to play out. When they don't go as we want them to we often blame ourselves and wonder where we went wrong... that's not what it's about. This is where learning to love yourself comes in and that comes with some incredible benefits, here are six. 1. You'll Be Large & In Charge Instead of making bad choices because you're being led by shame, guilt or fear you will be empowered to make choices that truly make sense for who you are meaning you will be living your authentic life. You will no longer be caught up with people pleasing, instead you will live a life that brings you satisfaction. Self-love means trying to honor yourself because you know your needs are just as important as others.
More to the point, you are strong enough to set clear boundaries with people and stick to them. 3. The Approval Seeking Will Stop When you truly love yourself, you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you which means you're a less defensive person and more confident about living a life that is authentic for you. Why would you need acceptance from everyone else when you truly accept yourself? 4. You Will Be A Conscious Decision Maker Loving yourself gives you the courage to cut things from your life that don't truly bring you joy or provide you with ample space to grow. It's easy to make courageous decisions when you value yourself and actively make choices that are intended to honor you, rather than risk harming you.
You could be filling that time with things that you actually enjoy doing whether its meditation, swimming, writing or watching a movie.
It doesn't need to feel scary to spend time alone, you should enjoy time with yourself. Self-love brings more comfort when you're spending time in your own company. 6. Happiness You don't need to find happiness in relationships, whether they're romantic or not. The only love that you truly need to be happy is the love of yourself. When you start taking responsibility for it and stop giving your power away to everyone else, you will naturally feel happier. If you're not in a romantic relationship you will find that you aren't as desperate to be in one as you once were because you know you don't need them. When the right person shows up, you will be ready for that love.
When looking for money saving tips, evaluate your lifestyle.
Do you visit Starbucks or a convenience store every morning for that must-have cup of coffee? Do you use your lunch breaks to eat takeout every day? If you’re addicted to coffee or lunch on the go, you’d be surprised at how quickly you can begin to save money. Let’s say that you spend $2.00 on coffee each morning. That’s $10 for the work week. Make coffee before you leave for work, put it in a coffee cup and you’ve just saved yourself some money. And, let’s say that you spend at least $5 each workday on lunch. That’s $25 each week. If you pack a lunch, you could save $100 each month. The little things that we spend money on each day and never think twice about can really add up. Every little trip to the vending machines for a snack or a soda, that loose change can accumulate quickly.
All of those things use electricity. Turning a light out or the TV off may not save you lots each month, but you will see a decrease in your electric bill.
Electricity rates are always on the rise, so if you can find some money saving tips that decrease your electric bill, the more power to you. Instead of running a fan in your room, open a window a bit wider. When going on vacation, put timers on your lights instead of leaving a few on the entire time that you are away.
There are lots of money saving tips that can be found. You need to look for them.
Look around your house – can you save on your phone or cable bills each month? Can you shop at discount grocery stores? Evaluate your lifestyle and then make some minor or major changes. Your paychecks just may go further than you think that they will.
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There are a lot of people on this planet. So many in fact, that at least a few of them are going to do things you don’t like. The crazy part about this is, you are the one with the problem. They will continue to go on about their lives. People keep these kinds of things bottled up for days and even weeks. When this happens, there is no inner peace. Try the following experiment. The next time someone cuts you off while driving, imagine they are on their way to an emergency at the hospital. If you looked at it from that perspective, can you blame them for driving the way they did? How do you think you will feel if you imagine this scenario? It will be more of a feeling of peace than tension.
They no longer have the power over you that they had when those feelings welled up inside of you.
Of course, you can’t pretend to forgive them only to still be angry at them. You need to truly let it go, which is not easy for most people to do. If you find it difficult to forgive people, keep in mind that you lose control of your emotions. As mentioned, it becomes your problem more than theirs. Step away from the situation and return to it when you are more self-composed. Play some high-intensity sports or do activities that will get your mind off of the situation. After you have calmed down, you will be in a better position to look at the situation differently.
Destructive thoughts can be a dangerous path to follow. Hopefully, if they are happening to you, they won’t last, and you can get back on track.
However, should they continue indefinitely, this should be cause for alarm. Destructive thoughts, such as feeling hopeless, can turn into depression and despair. This can lead to other behaviors such as heavy drinking or drugs. It can make you withdraw from life and feel like you have nowhere to turn.
A qualified professional will know the right course of action to take. It may even be covered by insurance.
If you feel like you are not yet at a point of being depressed or thinking destructive thoughts, but the thoughts are still negative, you should be able to shake free from this. Start by listing what you have in your life. This doesn’t mean the material things. It’s the people in your life that love and care for you. If your health is good, this is another item to go on the list. These are items that make you grateful.
Don’t take advice from others who are not qualified. Family members may have good intentions, but they probably have not been trained to handle extreme cases of destructive thinking.
Even if some are, it’s usually not a good idea to treat family members.
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The feeling of elation turns to panic. Then panic becomes a rush to figure out ways to handle the situation. When you compare this to people who don’t procrastinate, they may not get that initial surge of elation. However, they also don’t have to worry about the panic setting in. All things being equal, these non-procrastinators will not be as stressed out. It’s proven that stress can lead to disease. The resources that your body needs to fend off disease will be diverted to handling your stress. Short-term stress is not likely to impact health as much as stress that is constant. However, people who procrastinate do it with all (or most of) their tasks. Therefore, they are likely to be stressed out longer term. They are the ones more at risk of getting stress related disorders.
For example, if you are responsible for a certain aspect of a project and miss the deadline, it may cause others on the team to miss their deadlines.
Be aware they will know you are the bottleneck. This puts you in an awkward position that could eventually lead to your dismissal. Procrastination can cause you some financial pain. You may wait to the last minute to file your taxes. But, when you do so, you may not find the necessary information needed to reduce your tax liabilities. You will end up paying more than had you taken the time to look for all your legitimate deductions, etc. If you are worried about not getting that initial surge of elation, just remember that the good feeling you get from handling your situations on time will last much longer. It lowers your stress and makes your friends and family happier with you. It does take some effort to break the bad habit of procrastination. But, it is entirely worth the effort. When you hit a slump, or come up against self-doubt, here are some ways to get back your motivation to continue taking the action steps required to unlock the potential inside you. Look back at what you’ve already accomplished Occasionally, you may feel like you are working hard, but getting nowhere. This can dampen your enthusiasm for sure. But you’ve done more than what you realize! Go back through your planner or goal journal and refresh your memory of all the small steps you’ve taken that add up to getting you much closer to reaching the goals you’ve set for yourself. Hang around with like-minded people When you first make the decision to go for your goal in a big way, you should look for support to help you achieve it. Having the chance to hang out with others who have the same goal is an important way to learn new things and get support. It’s easy now to find people with the same ambitions - look online in forums or look at options in your local area. Many times, you can find a group who meets regularly to be there for you when you need a boost. Even if they haven’t been in your exact situation before, they will have experienced something in their lives similar enough that they will be able to empathize.
They don’t necessarily need to give you advice; they just need to listen. Many times, just having someone to talk a problem out with can help you easily find the solution. Break tasks down into smaller pieces Taking on big goals can be frightening. If you are feeling like you can’t deal with a particular action you need to take to move on, try breaking it down into several pieces. That will make it feel more manageable, and you will be able to see success more quickly as you check smaller tasks off your list.
1. Be Grateful Sometimes the ideas presented by religion seem strange and useless, but sometimes they turn out to be better ideas than they might seem at first. An old Jewish saying recommends that we "bless one thousand things every day," here "bless" being read "be grateful for." Just like the in "seventy times seven" parable, the thousand isn't exactly literal, it just means "a lot." This little mantra reminds us to look for things in our day to be grateful for, and science has only recently begun to recommend the same thing. Whether you're religious or not, acknowledging the things that you are grateful for every day can help to hardwire your brain to notice the positive things more quickly.
Speaking to The Huffington Post, Dr. Joffrey Suprina explained that when we pay more attention to what thoughts we're actually having throughout the day it can be easier to shake off the negative thoughts and focus on the positive.
3. Introduce Positive Thoughts The staff at The Mayo Clinic point out that just like our thoughts can upset us when we don't notice them, we also purposely introduce thoughts that make ourselves feel better. Trying to replace negative thoughts from our subconscious with positive thoughts from our conscious mind can be a very valuable tool. The staff at the Mayo Clinic also points out, however, that these thoughts till need to be practical for them to work. Ignoring the negative isn't thinking positive. Thinking positive is about making the best out of the worst that life gives us. 4. Avoid Negative People Writing for Psychology Today, Dr. Gregory Jantz wrote that it is difficult for us to be positive when we are surrounded by negative people. That means people who practice negativity as well as people who somehow bring out the negativity in us. Dr. Jantz doesn't necessarily say that we need to remove these people from our lives forever, just while we're first learning to become more positive. Kind of like how people who are quitting smoking find it hard to be around smokers for the first few days but eventually they're okay to be around other smokers again. 5. Look At Challenges As Opportunities An article by author Paul Sloane published by Lifehack.org recommends looking at potential challenges or setbacks as opportunities to go in another direction. We tend to look at where we are as the culmination of a lot of hard work and so when things don't go our way we feel like that work was for nothing. In many cases, however, our achievements can be the result of hard work without being the culmination of hard work and what we thought was our best can really be a stepping stone to what lies ahead. 6. Spend Time In "Input Mode" A 2016 article by Inc. points out that we are either in "input" mode or "output" mode. Output mode is when we are doing or making things, like when we are at work or doing things for our family and friends. Input mode is when we are doing things for ourselves like reading books. We can develop negative thoughts when we spend too much time in output mode and we can become more positive people by spending more time in input mode.
In this article, we’ll examine four steps to help you achieve greater emotional wisdom. 1. Listen A huge part of developing emotional wisdom is in learning how to listen to and interpret the experiences we have. By listening to your emotions, you can gain a wide understanding of what’s going on inside you. What’s going on inside you can affect your physical health and mental well-being, so it pays to listen carefully. Doing so will help you manage stress, which can manifest itself in many negative emotions. 2. Trust Trust in your ability to feel and be felt, and interpret your emotions accurately. Trust that you can handle whatever emotions come your way - after all, you’re still here, aren’t you? We are all much more capable than we tend to give ourselves credit for, so while you’re listening to your emotions, trust that what you’re hearing is the truth. Never second guess yourself when it comes to feeling. Whatever it is you are feeling is valid and worthy.
4. Adjust
The ability to adjust your emotion to your present situation is a sign of true emotional wisdom. Like anything, this takes practice, but when you learn to properly interpret the messages your emotions send you, you can adjust as you feel necessary. True emotional wisdom comes from looking within and listening carefully to what we feel to give us clues that help us live healthier, happier, more productive lives. Many people continue doing what they do out of fear there is nothing else, or they are getting a steady paycheck. The lucky few, however, break away and find their true passion in life. While starting up a new career may be exciting, it is not necessary to do so in order to do something you love. You can start up a hobby in your spare time, or you can volunteer in your area of interest. Many companies are encouraging their employees to take on more volunteer opportunities. Even if the company’s motives are not altruistic, volunteering can open doors for employees. They can learn new skills or discover ones they were not aware they possessed. This is not to say that starting and running a business is easy. It takes a lot of work and quite a bit of discipline.
You become your own boss and have no one to answer to but yourself. While many view this as a good situation to have, it is a double-edged sword. You need to have a good plan in place to help guide you towards success. A big benefit of having your own business is you are free to make as much money as you want. Assuming you find the right formula for making money, the sky is the limit. You don’t have to beg stingy corporations to try and get a morsel out of them. More people are discovering that having their own business is the only way to go. They love the challenge and find the work fulfilling, all things being equal. The Internet serves as a great provider of advice and resources to help these businesses succeed. Not everyone is suited to being an entrepreneur. But for those who are, they are in it for the long haul with no intention of ever looking back. |